Thank God for Graham Norton

Christmas and the New Year are a wasteland of Television. I know they think we should all be at the beach having barbi's and watching cricket but they haven't considered that          (A) - the weather is probably shite and (B) - I really hate cricket.
We are stuck with a line up of  terrible xmas repeats. How many times do we need to see Tim Allen in The Santa Clause? Answer : Never. How many times do we need to see The Santa Clause 2? Never ever EVER!

Please santa can u not give me a bowl cut this xmas?

And did you know they made four Santa Clause movies. FOUR ??!! Just goes to show that Hollywood is deranged and should be held accountable for Cruelty to Humans.

They also played the Vicar of Dibley Xmas Special. Again. Yes it was funny once but not EVERY year  (Probably the most interesting thing about the Dibley Xmas Special is that it stars Richard Amitage, who can also be spied eating breakfast at Maranui in between shooting The Hobbit.)

Hurry up and get my eggs benedict!

If we got fresh Christmas specials at the same time as Britain, it would be so MUCH better. But no, we must pine until Febuary. I think we did get the Doctor Who Spesh but that doesn't count because I do not like the new doctor. In truth, I have never watched a whole episode of  Doctor Who and the only reason I like the old doc and not the new guy  is because I've seen them both on The Graham Norton Show.   
 

Old Doctor : Hot !

New Doctor : Not.

Looking at them here, there isn't really much difference between them, they're both skinny white guys with brown hair and a right side parting.  It's the 21st century, isn't it about time  the Doctor was  Black or a Woman or a Transvestite? Or all three??!! That's why we need The Graham Norton Show, at the very least to tell the doctors apart.

The Graham Norton Show is my shining light in the darkness of Summer TV. My own little star of Bethleham.

While I waited impatiently for the fresh new crop of TV programmes to land, Graham Norton was my one true saviour and lord of the TV. He has the best chat show ever. It is the funniest, cheekiest and the most Un P.C. Don't you dare tell me Jonathan Ross is any kind of contender. He has a terrible lisp and if he ever stops twittering on about himself and lets the guest talk, the questions are so dull. Plus he looks like a pisstake of some 80's wanker.

Seriously ?!

Graham Norton, on the other hand asks all sorts of irreverent and entertaining and daft questions. You find out stuff  that isn't in the No Idea. Funny Stuff. Of course it’s partly scripted but with at least one Brit comedian in the guest mix and some decent couch chemistry, the ad lib stuff is a crack up.
It's the acid text for celebrities, it's when you find out if they have a sense of humour or not. If they have a personality or not. Yank stars tend to fare less well than the Brits because they are usually out of their comfort zone, espiecially when  it comes to sex.  Cher (she of the ridiculously suggestive outfits) had no idea what  "dogging" was (and if you don't know people, google it). Maybe it's all the surgery but I found her a po faced disappointment.

Dawn French get's it but Cher isn't sure.

I also have a new appreciation for Colin Farrell (more than just a floppy fringe) he is down to earth, funny and quite charming. I now undertsand why ladies are always jumping into his knickers.

Rhianna gets it too.

The show is not just about the stars, it also has bizarre & hilarious internet sites. So it's rather like browsing youtube with some famous people. Watch Eddie Izzard & Harry Shearer (The Simpsons) enjoy  Cats that look like Hitler It never gets old.
Then there are interactions with the audience, Diane Kruger (Inglourious Basterds) tries out her skills, while Matthew Fox (Lost)  squirms and John Bishop (Skins) gets all the best lines in Gay or European. 
Finally who can resist the 'Stories from the Red Chair' It's humiliating, it's painful and yet it's also hilarious, espiecially seeing which stars really get into it. Check out Adele & The Red Chair.

So what have I learnt?

A - It's a cruel cruel summer in TV land.
B - Box DVD sets of TV shows are my friend.
C - The Graham Norton Show  (online, repeating on UK TV and also on TV 3) is the gift that keeps on      giving.